Text Exchange Tuesday Re: Old Age and Butter
Lisa: Yep.
Marianne: And death is right around the corner so who cares about clogged arteries?
Lisa: Totally. Probably I’ll take up smoking too.
And heroin.
Marianne: HAHA!
Why not?
Lisa: Right. I’m not planning on leaving the porch, so.
Marianne: As long as you remember to feed the cats.
Lisa: Oh I’ll just dump out a giant sack of dry food about once a week.
Marianne: Yeah. Just have your groceries delivered. What else is there to worry about.
Lisa: I can’t wait, dude.
Haha!
Marianne: Reading, eating, shooting up. Sounds pretty awesome.
Lisa: AND having groceries delivered? That’s the icing on the whole wasted cake.
Marianne: A little spying on the neighbors mixed in for sport.
And don’t THINK I won’t be naked pretty much all the time.
What do I care?
You don’t like the sight of my wrinkly, butter-gorged body? DON’T LOOK!
Lisa: Yes! I’m more interested in those housedresses, which I will wear with house slippers. And maybe knee high hose.
Marianne: Right. That sounds good. That can be my “leaving the house” outfit.
Like when I have to go score more smack.
Lisa: You’re going to be so fancy!
Marianne: I KNOW! People will love it.
Lisa: I know I will.
Who gives a fuck about anyone else? I barely do now.
Marianne: Especially Milli. Who will most likely still be alive at that point. Much to my chagrin.
Lisa: Haha!
Milli and cockroaches.
Marianne: You and I will exchange butter-centric recipes and talk about how young people today are a disgrace.
Lisa: Wait, how’s that different from now?
Young people today are a disgrace!
Marianne: True. Good point.
Lisa: And butter IS the answer.
Marianne: I know.
But I try to give somewhat of a fuck regarding not cooking with thousands of sticks of butter.
Why do I try to deny it?
Lisa: I’m not sure. It’s always correct. What’s wrong with my stew? Needs more butter!
Marianne: Haha! Yes.
Lisa: Why does Brad throw up my chili? Probably because I don’t put butter in it! Well, I do now. But back then I didn’t.
Marianne: HAHA! (angry smile)
Lisa: YES.
Marianne: This meat is a strange color. Well, did you add butter, yet?
Lisa: Right. Once when B and I were dating, he came over to watch football and I decided to make shrimp scampi.
He was working out and everything at this point. You know, single.
Marianne: Yeah, what a waste that bullshit is.
Lisa: He came into the kitchen just as I was throwing an entire stick of butter into the skillet.
He immediately turned around and walked out.
Marianne: Haha! Was he horrified?
Lisa: Of course. But damned if he didn’t eat it.
Marianne: I bet he threw down on it at dinnertime, tho.
Lisa: You know it.
Marianne: Of course.
Because the shit is GOOD.
Olivia’s been known to try to sneak a stick of butter out of the fridge.
Lisa: Can you blame her?
Marianne: No.
Obv this is TExT for tomorrow, right?
Lisa: Haha! Yes.
Great work. (Except for the part about my regurgitation). Love the pics. Is there a spot for me on the porch eating butter when I am old? Don’t forget who introduced butter into your life.
B
This reminds me of when I was little & I would sneak gobs of butter from the fridge & eat it. Until one day my mom caught me & told me it would give me worms. When I was older & found out that was a lie, my love of butter was renewed, & to this day I’m a butter addict.
I used to take blobs of butter and dip it in the sugar bowl and eat it when my mom wasn’t looking. Butter? So winning…now and forever.
Also? Your text exchange is @$%&ing hilarious. Y’all sound like me and my best friend.
I used to take blobs of butter and dip it in the sugar bowl and eat it when my mom wasn’t looking. Butter=always winning.
Also? Your text exchange is @$%&ing hilarious. Y’all sound like me and my best friend.