My Steady and Loving Friend

You know who has always been there for me, never let me down, and has showered its magnificence on me on a regular basis?  Target.  Yes, Target, the superstore.  I love it.

It has been my constant companion throughout my adult life.  When I got my first apartment, I turned to Target for cheap, ill-advised furniture.  Whenever I was suffering through yet another breakup, Target was there to support me with hair dyeing kits and Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream.

Don't judge me.

When I was in law school, my friend, Sarah, and I would go to Target after class and roam up and down the aisles buying useless and delightful things like: candles that smelled like apples, sangria in a wine cube, bags of chocolate candy, a movie from the $10.00 movie rack.  It was glorious.

It's not wine in a box, it's wine in a CUBE.

When I got married, who provided the tasteful, yet inexpensive invitations?  Target, that’s who.

When I got pregnant, Target was ready with reasonably priced maternity jeans.  Other places that sell maternity clothes should be burned to the ground for the outrageous prices they charge.

You know I was a sexy beast in these.

When my baby was born and I realized that I STILL didn’t have a changing table cover (but I had 1,000 sheets and covers for the crib) where did I send my husband to haul ass to as if his life depended on it?  Target.

Whenever I receive a Target giftcard on a special, gift-giving occasion, my heart leaps and I imagine the possibilities.  What will I buy?  A new lamp?  A dog bed for Milli (obviously, that was before I had the baby.  Now Milli is lucky to be allowed to sleep anywhere in the house.  Bastard.)  A new eyeliner?  A giant bag of Tostitos so I can make a giant pan of nachos to eat all to myself?  The options are endless!

No you can't HAVE any, they're mine! LAY OFF ME, I'M STARVING.

I would have to say that out of all of the people that have come in and out of my life, none of them comes close to offering the gentle support and boundless trinkets that Target does.

So, thank you, Target.  I’ll see you soon for some nail polish and a Target Bookmarked Book of the Week.

Once I apply this nail polish, I will be so pretty and put-together-looking.

Hugs and kisses.


Comments (4)

MarinaJuly 14th, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I so see the attraction to Target. It is amazing but alas my love is with food and resturants. Thats why I probably look like shit but I can order in Chinese Chinese food.

LisaJuly 14th, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Whoa! Marina, that’s impressive.

ZDubJuly 15th, 2011 at 11:39 am

Target is my boyfriend.

Sweet, sweet Target.

AmieJuly 15th, 2011 at 5:37 pm

No mystery on what to get you for Christmas.. Or your birthday.. Or valentin… What?? Ha! Kidding about’s a stupid day anyway..

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