I maintain the right to whine, but not do anything to solve the problem.

Lisa and I were talking yesterday and I was whining about all of the things I have to do in the next few weeks and about why my life is so hard (waah).  And I asked if there is any way I can just give up on life.  How do I do that?  Just lay down in a heap on the floor and stop breathing?  (Which, incidentally, I wish my dog, Milli, would do.  Preferably before I give birth to the second baby in a few months.)  And Lisa said this to me: “Dude, you’re not taking proper advantage of your pregnancy.”  I said, “really?  I’ve been eating mountains of food every two hours.  And I’ve turned into a super-dick.  For example, if I roll my eyes at Carl one more time, I’m pretty sure he’s just going to go ahead and get his own place.”  (Seriously, I had to call him the other day while he was at work and apologize for my general assholish behavior.  He was pretty understanding.  He said, “that’s okay.  I know you’re really uncomfortable being 7 months pregnant and all.”  Which is partly true.  But mostly everything is just pissing me off. )

Lisa said “Yes, that’s all good.  But you need to lie down and not move.  Tell everyone that your doctor says you need a week of bed rest.”  So, I’ve been thinking about this.  It sounds pretty appealing.  But I would kind of feel like a hypocrite because I am very critical of people (usually pregnant women) who treat pregnancy as a disability.  IT’S NOT A DISABILITY.  Unless you work in the coal mines, you can still do your job while you’re pregnant.  I am always shocked at the number of women who want to quit their jobs or go on maternity leave WHILE THEY’RE PREGNANT.  And do what, exactly?  Lay around and grow a fetus?  Is that a full-time job?  I can do that while texting, writing rude blogs, and being a part-time lawyer and a full-time lyrical assassin.  Sooo, what’s the deal, ladies?

Am I missing out on one of the greatest joys of pregnancy?  Bed rest and lazing about?  Or am I right?  We should be able to do what’s expected of us, just at a slower and whinier pace?  Please weigh in.  I really need some feedback on this.   Obviously, I’m too close to this issue to see it clearly.

***Also, if your doctor orders bed rest, I’m not such an asshole that I would advocate not bed-resting.   But if your best friend orders bed rest, I think there might be some wiggle room there, no?  Somehow, I don’t think my husband and my two-year-old would be real keen on me saying “Lisa said I need to lie down.  And watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  And if one of you could massage my feet?  That’d be great.  What?  I’m growing a baby.”


Comments (2)

JRTFebruary 7th, 2012 at 12:19 am

Missed seeing you on Thursday, as you were in court! You have a very busy life–working, mom, wife, smart ass writer, etc. If there is one thing that happened to me during pregnancy that never happened before or after, it was the need for a nap. You can certainly give yourself the benefit of a freaking nap when and if you need one.
Of course, if one were working in a coal mine (or in an office as I was with #1) this is not a luxury that can be afforded. But as it can be afforded, you can take it. Measuring yourself up against every other woman in history who grew a fetus isn’t going to benefit you, Carl nor Olivia. No one, in the end, is going to chant, “She was the greatest woman ever. She didn’t rest while pregnant!”
Take a rest! It’s hard work growing that boy–and there’s no rest once he makes his appearance!

MarianneFebruary 8th, 2012 at 9:31 am

You’re right! There is no trophy for not resting while pregnant. I was hoping it might at least get me a mention on the local news. 🙂 I missed you at book club the other day, too! I’m looking forward to next week’s book club!

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